There was an old zany who lived in a tub;
   He had so many fleabites
   He didn't know where to rub.
   He kept looking for an honest man
   Said "I'm gonna find him if I can"
   If I could meet Diogenes today,
   This is what I'd say:
   Rub-a-dub-dub
   Oh, Diogenes!
   Find a man who's honest!
   Oh, Diogenes!
   Wrap him up for me
   Oh, Diogenes!
   Find a man who's stolid-solid
   Hook that fish if he's in the sea
   Hunt him! Trail him!
   Catch him! Nail him!
   If he is free
   Have you got your stick?
   Have you got your lantern?
   Can you do the trick
   And produce him, please!
   Catch that fellow!
   Ring that bell,
   Oh, Diogenes!