Kow Kow Calqulator
   Was a very smooth operator
   Had himself a pet alligator
   Kept it in a chrome elevator, yeah
  
   When the sun began to shine
   The alligator come outside
   Kow Kow played the chimes
   Together they would go for a ride
  
   As they travelled with a heavy load
   They came across a dead horse at the side of the road
   With two generals standing at each end
   Fighting over whose fault it had been
  
   And all that's left was this war
   And they couldn't get things back together like they were before
  
   Well, listen
   Turn on your love light
   Turn it on, let it shine
   Inside your heart
   Let it shine, turn it on
   Your love light
   Turn it on
   Turn it on
   Let it shine
   Inside your mind
  
   So many times Kow Kow had heard it said before
   Oh, don't, Lord, don't go near that door
   The cause of our evil you'll uncover
   Because of our misery you discover
   Well, misery seeks its own company
   Kow Kow had heard it said
  
   Now he sits there crying
   Oh, with his hands across his head
   Kow Kow Calqulator
   Oh, a very smooth operator
  
   Get back in your elevator
   Kow Kow Calqulator
   Turn on your love light
   Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
   Let it shine