I've come across the desert
   To greet you with a smile
   My camel looks so tired
   It's hardly worth my while
   To tell you of my travels
   Across the golden East
   I see your preparations
   Invite me first to feast
   Take me I'm yours
   Because dreams are made of this
   Forever there'll be
   A heaven in your...
  
   The Indians send signals
   From the rocks above the pass
   The cowboys take positions
   In the bushes and the grass
   The squaw is with the Corporal
   She is tied against the tree
   She doesn't mind the language
   It's the beating she don't need
   She lets loose all the horses
   When the Corporal is asleep
   And he wakes to find the fire's dead
   And arrows in his hats
   And Davy Crockett rides around
   And says it's cool for cats
  
   (Cool for cats...)
  
   I never thought it would happen
   With me and the girl from Clapham
   Out on a windy common
   That night I ain't forgotten
   When she dealt out the rations
   With some or other passions
   I said you are a lady
   Perhaps she said I may be
  
   Left my ring by the soap
   Now is that love?
   You cleaned me out you could say broke
   Now is that love?
   The better better better it gets
   The more these girls forget
   That that is love
  
   But behind the Chalet
   My holiday's complete
   And I feel like William Tell
   Maid Marian on her tiptoed feet
   Pulling mussels from a shell
  
   (Instrumental break: "Separate Beds")
  
   The case was pulled from under the bed
   She made a call to a sympathetic friend
   And made arrangements
   The door was closed there was a note
   I couldn't be bothered
   Maybe I'll choke
   No more engagements
  
   With where have you beens
   And faraway frowns
   Trying to be good
   By not being 'round
   And here in the bar
   The piano man's found
   Another nail for my heart
  
   If you ever change your mind
   Which you do from time to time
   Never chew a pickle
   With a little slap and tickle
   You have to throw the stone
   To get the pool to ripple
  
   Sunlight on the lino
   Woke me with a shake
   I looked around to find her but she'd gone
   Goodbye Girl