Now I stutter, now I dribble
   Other than that, I'm lots like I was then
   The decline and fall of me
  
   I just shaved my nose off, oh well
   Other than that, I'm lots like I was then
   The decline and fall of me
  
   If I had a hammer I would drop it and break it
   Look at the pieces
   Now I've got a hobby, I collect frozen pizzas
   Check out my pizzas
  
   Now your jokes seem really funny
   Other than that, I'm lots like I was then
   The decline and fall of me
  
   Where's my mouth, man, this eating is rough on the shirts
   Gee, I'm sorry about the thermometer, nurse
   Would you tell me again, which are girls, which are guys
   Gee, I thought that this finger meant so long, goodbye
  
   Chart position, bubbling under, drowning
   And goodbye future Mrs. Mael, Mael
   The decline and fall, decline and fall, decline and fall of me
  
   I'm fading away
   I'm fading away
   I'm fading away