That is what I had intended, pretending to be drunk
   A little change in character, pretending to be drunk
   You think I am weak and feeble
   You think I'm a bore
   When you drag me to a party
   Soon I'm out the door
   Next time I'll portray a suave sophisticated hunk
   That is what I had intended, pretending to be drunk
  
   That is what I had intended, pretending to be drunk
   A bit of "I have lived and loved," I'm pretending to be drunk
   You say I could use some swagger
   You say toughen up
   I am rigid as a board
   You tell me loosen up
   I'm so loose and I'm so tough
   That I can barely move
   That is what I had intended, pretending to be drunk
  
   You notice a transformation, pretending to be drunk
   I've lost all my inhibitions, pretending to be drunk
   You an take me to the soiree
   And be proud of me
   Everyone will be impressed
   I'll pass out on you knee
   Now I am so continental, they think that it's nice
   Think I'll pretend to be drunk for the rest of my life
  
   That is what I had intended, pretending to be drunk