Ladies, ladies
   On the sofa next to me are Dinah Shore and Sara Lee
   Ladies, ladies
   In the backyard climbing trees are Princess Grace and Margaret Mead
   Ladies, ladies
  
   Then you pull in the driveway
   You've been out shopping
   I've got to hide them,
   Hide, all you ladies
   They nod and smile
   They're disappearing
   They're fading out now
   And welcome home my only lady, my only lady
  
   Ladies, ladies
   Jackie's in the powder room
   And Lois Lane will be here soon
   Ladies, ladies
   Eva Braun is cracking jokes
  
   While Joan of Arc just sits and smokes
   Ladies, ladies
   Then I call up some buddies
   Hey, come on over
   There's ladies present
   "We'll be right over"
  
   The ladies hear me
   They're disappearing
   They're fading out now
   My friends say "where are all the ladies, ladies"
  
   Ladies, ladies
   In my kitchen baking cake is Betty Crocker
   Ladies, ladies
   Dolly Parton's in my pool, and Aunt Jemima's acting cool
  
   Ladies, ladies
   They're really great in person
   They get me going
   But I'm not pushy
   Don't want to blow it
   'Cause if I blow it
   They start a-fading
   Come back my ladies
   Where would I be without my ladies