You know he's not the kind of man who likes to see the world around him
  Crumble to a ball around his feet.
  So he's always ready, he's always set, he's always well prepared,
  he's the most peculiar man you'll ever meet.
    [Chorus]
  You know he's not the king of Bedside Manor.
  He's not the Tom Jones that lives next door.
  He's not the king of Bedside Manor.
  He hardly even lives there anymore.
    He says excuse me, I hope you don't mind
  that I followed you into this shop
  but I couldn't help but notice that riding crop
  Sticking out of your haversack,
  Um, I wouldn't mind riding you bareback.
  He's subtle on the dancefloor and he's suave around the bar
  He's a quickdraw with a lighter, he's a pseudo movie star.
  You know he was quite a singer, quite an actor,
  quite some time ago.
  He had quite a famous program, late night bedtime tv show.
    [Chorus]
    Well he opens up the curtains at the crack of dawn
  Just to see the lovely ladies who have come and gone
  From the house next door to his house on the lane,
  He consoles himself that he's got his health and he knows he can't complain.
    [Chorus]
    He's not the King of Bedside Manor
  He's not the King of Bedside Manor
  Hardly even lives there anymore.
    Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto
    He's not the king, he's not the king, he's not the king of Bedside Manor.