I'm an anarchist, I'm the anti-christ
   Well sort of not really
   It's not big it's not clever
   And i'm quite a reasonable fella
   Your friendly uncle good with kids good ol' paternalist pop
   Good cop bad cop good cop bad cop good cop good cop
   I was a wannabe and wannabes don't know what they want to be
   I needn't have worried 'cos the man upstairs was looking out for me
   God gave me the finger with his free hand
   Now I'm his left hand man
   Hey punk don't call me Mac
   My name is Johnny Trabant
   Love me, love me, love me, love me
   (Repeat)
   Take me, take me, seriously, love me, love me, love me, love me
   They call me the great pretender
   John Noakes was my mentor
   I'm a walking talking ideas man
   Here's one I prepared earlier
   Stretch Armstrong and his rubber band
   Edwin Meese and the sex police
   Please Mister Postman post-post-modern deliver us from Elvis
   Be-bop-a-lula my baby-baby does good culture yes
   Now I found what I'm looking for I find myself in another fine mess
   Someone muddied my waters
   I lost my way but now I see
   I O.D.'d on irony
   I'll rediscover god for the next LP
   Love me, love me, love me, love me
   (Repeat)
   Take me, take me, seriously, love me, love me, love me, love me
   Bend me shake me anyway you want me whatever you want I'll be your heart's desire. Black and cuddly, you want love me, pop me cork watch me pop like bubbly. Hot or not you've got to use what you've got. Where's the weak spot, let me take a shot. What a turn on, does it feel lovely? Love me love me
   Johnny Johnny what for art thou
   How goes Victor Jara
   I got a stadium-sized pro rata headache
   Pretentious moi
   The ghost of Eamonn Andrews smiling watching over me
   I love it let's shoot it 'Johnny Trabba the movie'
   I paid my dues, I sung the blues
   I've done pain and personal hell
   Pass me the phone I got calls to make
   This will sell and sell
   I'm as Bob Roberts to your Phil Ochs
   Talking political
   So love me, love me, love me I'm a liberal
   Love me, love me, love me, love me
   (Repeat)
   Take me, take me, seriously, love me, love me, love me, love me
   Love me, freeze-frame, love me