I'm sittin' in a border palace
  I'm suckin' on a Dos Equis beer
  Yeah, I'm sittin' with greasy Alice
  And I'm suckin' on a Dos Equis beer
  And I want to be in Los Angeles
  But it's bad enough, God Dammit
  ‘Round here
  
  And I can feel my skinny body
  Slip like a knife into her perfume
  Yeah, I can feel my skinny body
  Stab the walls of the naked room
  Just ain't enough of that
  tight white cotton to hide
  her evil from my boom
  
  And I can hear a red mouthwhisper
  As she comes from down the hall
  Yeah, I can feel her dry hips blister
  Rubbing noises against the wall
  And like a scream she said
  that she wants it tough
  Got nobody, somehow, that's enough
  
  I'm sittin' in a border palace
  I'm suckin' on a Dos Equis beer
  Yeah, I'm sittin' with greasy Alice
  And I'm suckin' on a Dos Equis beer
  And I want to be in Los Angeles
  But it's bad enough, God Dammit
  God Dammit, God Dammit,
  God Dammit ‘Round here