I've found a new beauty secret for my Rod
  It feels so good when I rub it all over ..Todd!
  So soft and silky with the most beautiful sheen
  It came in a box labeled,
  Not Penis Cream!
  Not Penis Cream!
  Saw it on TV and I ordered on the phone
  Three to five days rush delivered to my home
  Then in my mailman's eye I saw a knowing glean
  He handed me a box labeled,
  Not Penis Cream!
  Not Penis Cream!
  It could be almost anything
  Cds or girly magazines
  A baseball glove or a year's supply of Spam
  But on thing's for sure, yeah yeah
  It's Not Penis Cream!
  Not Penis Cream!
  It's Not Penis Cream!
  Not Penis Cream!